My Journey to Tubal Reversal With Dr. Berger
My Tubal Ligation – Then The Loss of My Son
My journey to Dr. Berger began on May 29, 2007, the day my youngest son, Jayden, was born. I knew in my heart I did not want my tubes tied, but because of 2 very life threatening pregnancies, we (me, my other half and doctor) decided it would be best to have a TL. But then life became all too real to me on July 30, 2007 when I lost my youngest son, only 2 months and 1 day after he was born. This picture of Jayden shows what a happy baby he was…
In the earliest part of my tubal reversal journey, I did not think I would want another baby, but as time passed, I did a lot of soul searching. When you lose a child, at any time in their life, a lot of guilt comes with your “new” life. Added to my guilt was that yearning, the desire of wanting another baby. It became painfully and almost obsessively clearer with time that having the TR would be such an important part of my healing journey.
I can never have my sweet Jayden back. He can never be replaced. He will always be my second born son, and will remain with me forever. But it would be such a blessing to have a chance of having another baby, and a piece of him… a gift from him… and a gift to him. He watches over his big brother, and if I ever were given the chance to have another baby, he will be able to have a younger sibling as well, another sibling to watch over and be proud of. I am extremely proud of both of my sons, and it is my every hope that Jayden will be excited about the idea of being an older sibling.
The Added Problem of PTLS
I would also like to say that, along with much emotional stress, my body physically went through a terrible amount of stress from the day I had the TL. I was constantly in pain, I suffered from what I believed to be PTLS, and though many people do not believe in it, I DO! I had more problems from the very day of the surgery that I never had, not one single day in my life, and I was searching for that relief as well.
How I Found Dr. Berger
It was amazing how I found Dr. Berger, and I was instantly drawn to him. I did what many people to and search around, mainly because my family made me… but I can not lie… when I saw Dr. Berger and his website, it was my own personal immediate decision: This is where I am going to go! Not a single doubt in my mind, I instantly knew it. The next part of my journey began, which was the financial issue, but a kiss in the wind was blown my way, and in February of 2009 I was able to schedule my surgery on May 21, 2009. Only 8 days before Jayden would have been 2. My oldest son had turned 3 only days before I scheduled my tubal reversal.
Submitted by Lisa R.
angeljdclilcake@aol.com
In Part 2 of My Journey to Tubal Reversal With Dr. Berger, posted on July 5th, Lisa R. writes, “On the day of my consult at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, I felt like I was in a whole new world. I have NEVER in my life felt so important or so special. When I met with Dr. Berger that day, I just knew I was in the best hands possible.”
More About Tubal Reversal Journey
“An Angel, in the book of life, wrote down our baby’s birth. Then whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for Earth.”
-Unknown Author (currently searching)
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
-Helen Keller
“It was written in the book before ever being born
Both heaven and earth would have to mourn.”
-ME
August 21st, 2009 at 10:57 am
In 2000 I chose to have a tubal ligation after losing my son to severe eclampisa and HELLP Syndrome in 1995. It was suggested I not have a child or
try. On 10/11/2004 Dr Berger and staff performed my tubal reversal instilling hope in me that one day I would have that miracle baby. Over the course of a year and a half, I became pregnant twice via IUI but sadly both times my pregnancy ended in miscarriage and the last one was a suspected tubal pregnancy and a follow up HSG showed one tube possibly blocked. Due to a change in my marital status at the age of 36 I pretty much gave up all hope of having a child and put that to rest and just forged ahead with life.
Well….
As luck would have it my life changed with a new relationship and new outlook and shockingly I discovered, after being 11 days late, in early May 2008 that I was indeed pregnant. We were not trying and quite frankly had said “no children” and based on my history with having to use fertility treatments the thought of getting pregnant on my own was not even on my mind. I was not prepared for the “it’s positive” from the nurse. I cried for various reasons. Well to make a long story short, after a very high risk pregnancy Michael Jon was born on 11/19/2008.
He came early at 32 weeks and only weighed 2lbs 10 ounces due to IUGR. It was a long 6 week NICU stay but today he is 9mos and 1 day and the best miracle I could ever ask for.
I will be celebrating my 40th birthday in September with such joy. I’m still amazed today that I became pregnant after all my body has been through. Like you I know that Tyler will never be replaced but I have been given the greatest gift I ever wanted…to be a mom.
July 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Your story is so inspiring to those who can relate to your loss and to the frustrations of PTLS. Thank you for telling us of your experiences and your ability to move on in your journey after your tubal reversal.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. We hope for your family’s best in the future.
July 9th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
[...] Part 2 of My Journey to Tubal Reversal With Dr. Berger [...]
July 9th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
[...] This is the last section of a 3 part article written by Lisa R. from Connecticut. Lisa’s Journey to Tubal Reversal – Part 1 describes the beginning of her tubal reversal journey upon the loss of her son at 2 months [...]
July 8th, 2009 at 6:52 am
Lisa,
Your story is amazing and will surely inspire future tubal reversal patients. Thanks for sharing your personal journey.
July 7th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Lisa, thank you so much for sharing your story. You and your family are an inspiring picture of strength and love. I was so glad to be part of your journey and I hope that your story after tubal reversal unfolds many joys!
July 5th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
[...] 5, 2009 In Part 2 of My Journey to Tubal Reversal With Dr. Berger, posted on July 5th, Lisa R. writes, “On the day of my consult at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal [...]
July 5th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
[...] My Journey to Tubal Reversal by Lisa R. [...]
July 5th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Lisa,
In talking to you online and through our emails I have seen you change. Change in a good way. I can see you becoming stronger. You still have a little of Jayden in Ian. I wish you all the best! Please keep in touch.
July 5th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Your story is so touching. Although, I can only imagine the pain of losing a child. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you found a chance through Dr. Berger.
God works miracles. He takes all that is bad, and makes it into something good. I know you will be blessed and that you ARE blessed.
July 5th, 2009 at 7:39 am
Lisa,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know you will be an inspiration to others who have lost young children.
July 4th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Lisa, I have known and helped take care of you since you were 3 years old and I am proud to see how in all your journeys, you have turned into a inspiration for others. Everytime you look in the mirror, hug your son and take care of your family the way you do, you should smile and be very happy in knowing the woman you’ve turned into is a great person.
July 4th, 2009 at 6:29 am
Hi Lisa,
You have a truly touching story!! I wish you the best with Dr. Berger and your TR. I had the same intuition when it came to choosing CHTRC. Within 3 months without trying we conceived TR Baby #1 and he is now a healthy and happy 3 month old. My life will never be the same.
I can’t say that I know your pain and your lost because I haven’t dealt with something so traumatic with my children. God will bless you with more children, Dr. Berger is an EXTREMELY GIFTED surgeon and I believe with the core of my soul that he was put on this Earth to give life, give back the heart and soul to women who wouldn’t be able to conceive otherwise.
I thank God everyday for my baby and Dr. Berger. I let everyone know at church too that he wouldn’t be here without God and the talented hands of Dr. Berger and his staff. I couldn’t imagine life without him, so yes, my heart aches for your situation.
You are in my prayers! I believe that Jayden will be just as excited as your eldest when the new baby comes here! Good luck and God bless you on your TR journey!
Joy
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:35 pm
Lisa,
I have said it before, you are a very strong and special person. I can only say that I am proud to be your mom and grandma to two special grandchildren ……Ian, who because of your love and Harry’s love will never forget his little brother, and Jayden, who will be forever innocent.
There are no words to thank Dr. Berger and the staff at Chapel Hill. I have never met such loving, caring people in my life. You all breathed life back into my daughter and for that I will be forever grateful.
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:44 pm
[...] Read My Journey to Tubal Reversal With Dr. Berger [...]
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Lisa R.- You are an amazing and true inspiration. I cannot imagine the unbelievable and unthinkable loss of a child. I mourn for you as a parent. However, after reading your blog I was also excited for you b/c you found peace just like many women do after years of suffering from PTLS just from landing on the CHTRC website. Almost like a gift from God, it came upon me, as well! Women, Friends, Family, Dr.’s, and other medical professionals may truly never know the burden physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that PTLS claims on the lives of women after a TL. Hopefully, with CHTRC and their ongoing study, we can make a difference in the lives of women in the future. My very best wishes to you and your family and future! I look forward to the rest of your blog!