Tubal Reversal Blog ‘dream’

After my first meeting with Dr. Berger, I drove home and was ecstatic our conversation went so well. I did not know what to expect when I first visited the center but my visit was everything I could have hoped for. Immediately when I got home I told my wife about my experience. I had never told her about my previous dream so I also divulged to her my vision about my visit to Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center. She was amazed I even had such a dream because she is aware I am not a very superstitious person. To this day we still can not believe I had a dream foretelling the start of a new career.

Dr. Berger and I had several more meetings after our initial meeting. I was able to explain to him my career frustrations and my desire to become a tubal ligation reversal specialist. I was able to learn more about him, his background in infertility and in vitro fertilization, and his evolution towards becoming an exclusive provider of tubal ligation reversal surgery. Our meetings were productive and I became even more certain I wanted to become a specialist in tubal ligation reversal.

As I began to seriously consider transitioning to become a tubal ligation reversal specialist I began to realize several things about myself:

• As a physician I want to help people. I especially enjoy helping people obtain goals which are not easily available.
• I take enjoyment in doing surgeries other doctors are either afraid of or incapable of doing.
• I value letting patients make their own informed decisions. I have never felt the need to impose my beliefs upon other people. I rarely judge the decisions of others.
• I dislike hospitals. I feel they are unhealthy (for patients and doctors) and are loud, noisy places.
• I really enjoy working in outpatient, ambulatory surgery centers. I feel less confined than in the hospital environment.
• I like to be efficient. Being idle is extremely difficult for me.
• I can not take good care of others if I can not take good care of myself and family. Long nights, weekends, and poor medical outcomes began to gnaw away at one’s humanity and compassion.

It has been almost a year since I first met Dr. Berger and the staff at the Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center and started my path towards becoming a reversal specialist. I have realized many things about myself and my desires. I am eagerly looking forward to a career in helping women correct the misgivings of prior decisions.

After my dream of becoming a tubal reversal specialist, I emailed Dr. Berger to ask for his assistance in teaching me his techniques of outpatient tubal reversal microsurgery. I was a little reluctant to reach out and make contact but, as I previously mentioned, email is a great way to receive rejection.

When I received his return email I was afraid to open it. I thought I would click on the reply and read the typical – “Thanks for your interest but (fill in the blank) – we are not interested at this time.” Instead, I was astounded by his response. One line of his email is still vivid in my memory. The line read,

“I always thought one day I would be approached by the right person…..”

When I read this line in his email, I was ecstatic. I thought to myself, ‘Hey, that is me. I am the right person!’ I felt as is if I were a little high school boy who had his invitation to the prom accepted by the prettiest girl at school. These kinds of things never happen to me. I could not sleep well for several days because of my inner excitement.

The day came when I went to Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center for my first meeting with Dr. Berger. I was extremely tired because the night prior to our meeting had been a sleepless one since I had been on call in the hospital delivering babies.

I approached the building and entered through a passageway which led me into a courtyard. The first thing I remember was hearing the sound of a fountain echoing in the courtyard walls. It invoked a soothing feeling. The fountain was placed next to a set of stairs and was standing on a bed of small, rounded river rock. The stairs led up to the second level. I ascended the stairs to the second floor. I was extremely tired but I could not but help feel a sense of calmness within the courtyard. The experience brought back memories of being in church as a child. There was an overwhelming sense of peacefulness.

I entered the office and was seated by the receptionist. While I waited for Dr. Berger, I read through several of the photo albums in the waiting room. There were pictures of many tubal reversal babies and letters of thanks and encouragement. These photo albums seemed like the fruit of a fulfilling and successful career.

Dr. Berger came out to meet me and we went into his office and talked for about 45 minutes. I explained my desire to become a tubal ligation reversal specialist. He told me about his background and how he had come to specialize in tubal ligation reversal. His training, history, and career development were very interesting. I was especially interested in how he had evolved to solely provide such a specialized service. Although we were very different people, it became clear to me that we shared many common fundamental beliefs. Overall, I thought our meeting was very productive. At the conclusion, I shook his hand and thanked him for meeting with me. Since I knew he was busy (and I was tired) I expected to make a quick exit. As I was about to leave, Dr. Berger said, “Let me show you around.”

A strange feeling came over me. I quickly dismissed my strange feeling but readily took him up on the offer. He showed me the top office and waiting room. We then went outside, down the stairs, and past the fountain and decorative rocks. Again another strange feeling went through me- a sense of deja vu. He then showed me the break room with tables for eating, the operative rooms and the recovery room.

I was extremely impressed by two things. First, the entire place was absolutely the cleanest health care facility I had ever been in – I literally felt I could eat off the floor. Second, it was the quietest health care facility I had ever been in. I am used to noise, commotion, screaming, and yelling. I had never been in such a calm health care setting before.

At the conclusion of our tour, I shook his hand again and thanked him again for his time. I left and went to my car. As I started to put the keys into the ignition, I had to pause. I began to process what had happened. I began to investigate my sense of deja vu. I had been here before. I had seen this. I had done this before. It all began to come to me. This was the dream I had several weeks prior!

Then it all began to make sense. The two levels. The water and the fountain. The boulders. The table. The sense of happiness and calm……….these things never happen to me. I quickly suppressed these feelings. Why? I don’t know. I think I was afraid I was building this up to be more than it was or would ever be. I started the car and drove away.

Posted by Charles Monteith, MD