| Author | Topic: Dealing with less than supportive reactions |
| TWOGIRLZMOMMY | Tammy,
Your situation is so much like mine. I have always been with my dh too and some people have treated me AWFUL since my TR. Mostly his sisters and mother - I truly think deep down they are jealous also and want to do the same but can't or won't. One of his sisters even said since she was in a fender bender car accident that was going to make her be able to get pregnant! I was like HUH?! I never heard that before! So I know it boils down to jealousy. Anyway, just thought I'd put my 2 cents in here if thats ok.
-Melissa |
| John, CST | Jody,
I encourage you to follow your heart and do what is best for you and your DH. Everyone else's opinion is of no consequence. If you want another child, and it's apparent that you do, I say go for it. There will always be those who want to rain on your parade so keep an umbrella with you! Wishing you the best.
John CST
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| KimKt69 | Jody, my SIL doesn't agree with it at all. She tells me that I am crazy and I shouldn't ruin my life. I mean who is she to tell me that this will ruin my life???? DH's parents are great with it..they are excited like we are. My one sister lives close and she is excited. So the only one that has a problem with it is my SIL. I really don't know why she is acting the way she is...could be that she wants the only grand child in the family..who knows...I just try not to let it bother me...I am going to do what I want anyway ya know...
Kim |
| USMC Wife | I am so blessed in having support where I need it. My husband is all for it, my son just can't wait, and well..my FIL is the one paying for it. How's that for support? He can't wait to be a grandfather!
My ex husband's family has gotten wind of it and they are being truely hateful about it. My ex MIL actually emailed me and told me that having a baby at my age was beyond stupid and it would serve me right if my baby was born deformed or worse. How awful is that? Besides, whatever child God sees fit to send to me is the child that I will love and cherish no matter what!
Anytime you're feeling like you need support Jody, just come here and we'll be there for you. |
| DMZ | Jody~
I don't discuss my TR or ttc with people, generally (just you girls here on the Message Board). If I did, it would be inviting their comments and opinions, which I am not interested in!
Dancy |
| Andie | I agree with DMZ. I haven't told people about it - I'd rather just explain a pregnancy which 99% of people would be happy about once it is actually a reality. Unless they will be financially supporting you and the child, it is really no one's business. |
| rinkie | Jody, I have 4 children ages 18-4 and when I told my family they thought I was crazy but my DH and I told them this is what we want and they came around. I love my DH and he is so supportive with my 4 children from anthor marriage. Don't worry about what other people think. Good Luck !!!!! Much baby dust.... rinkie |
| Peace | I agree with Andie and Dancy. I don't need anyone's approval so I don't seek it. I am sure I would get the same bs if I told everyone - why do that to myself? When I am 3 - 4 months pregnant, perhaps then I will tell a few people - maybe not!!!! It will be on a "need to know" basis.
Anyhoo, wishing you all the best in getting that BFP asap.
xoxoxoxo,
Peace |
| jodyplustwinsandmore | Thanks so much ladies! From now on, I'll follow the "need to know" advice!
I'm 27, and everyone keeps acting like I'm so old to have another baby. Goodness. I think this is probably a far better age than when I had my other children, to be honest!
My husband and I are discussing the financial aspects and hope to schedule the TR before the summer! |
| USMC Wife | 27?!
Darlin'..you're a baby compared to some of us. 
Follow your heart and you'll be fine. *hugs* |
| Sandra Coleman | Yea, dang it it. I am over the hill and I still want a hundred more children. 27 is a youngster to me. As Nike says, "just do it."
Sandra |
| MitziMay | Sweetie, you tell them that it is not about "needs" it is about WANTS, and you WANT to have another child. Remind them that no one "needs" any children. Can you imagine the flack I get... we have 7 children, blended family, DH's sister never had any... her choice, she has a lot of "nice stuff" though.
 Get my drift? Follow what your heart tells you and remind them that children are a gift from God and what kind of woman would turn down a gift like that! Be sweet, keep your smile, and remind yourself that it's not theirs to decide. You didn't tell them how many children they should have and you would like the same freedom!
Sending you blessings, tough skin and a big smile Mitz |
| cj45 | Jody-
Because we did not want to go through the reactions that you are getting, we kept our decision a complete secret! I am 46 and DH is 47 and our TR was just on 1/6. We didn't want to expose ourselves to others' opinions because it is OUR LIFE, not theirs! Although it was difficult to keep quiet about a trip across the country and then take it easy for a week when we got home- we did just that, and no one is the wiser! When we get our BFP (and I am sure we will) we will explain that those 'little soldiers' must have jumped the gap! It will truly be a miracle! (with a little help from Dr. B!!!!)
Good luck to you and keep your chin up!
USMC- sounds like making those previous in-laws xxx's was a GREAT decision!!! |
| Susan C | My story is similar to yours. I had my first TR 5/03 and my family thought I was crazy. This is my second marrage which is going on to 6 years this coming fall. I do have 3 wonderful girls from my previous marrage (19,15,14) and they can't understand why I would want another one. My current inlaws are happy with it and can't wait for us to have a child. My DH has none of his own. We had our 2nd TR 6/05 to unblock one of my tubes and are still continuing our journey. It has been 2 1/2 years since our first TR but we have not given up. My family now says that if that is what I want then they are happy for me. Don't let other people decide what you should have in life. They are not the ones living in your shoes. Good luck to all of you and lots of BFP's.
Susan |
| julie weldon | jody
Seems to be quite a common problem. I had my TL in April of 2002 after the birth of our second baby. I have been married only once, and will be with my DH forever : ) After our second baby we thought we were okay with 3 (he has a son from his first marriage who lives with us). Anyway, I went ahead with my TL and have regretted it ever since. I have challenging pregnancies; it's a balancing act of medication to combat pre-term labor. My first was 2 months early and our second made it to term, Our second baby, Luke, will be 4 in April...as far as we knew, he was fine when he was born, but we soon learned
differently. Luke has an undiagnosed "neurological disease" - he has no speech, difficulty with motor skills, and functions at about a 9-12 month level. This has been the most painful experience of our lives and we are really hoping to add to our family. We want lots of love and support for Riley and Luke as well as Eli (my SS). I can't tell you all of the negative opinions we have gotten, like we shouldn't be so selfish, we should focus on Luke alone, etc. But this desire is so strong and I am trying to find the courage to follow my heart. I am scheduled for 3/20. None of my family knows except for my brother and his wife, and it will probably stay that way until we get a BFP, Lord willing. So, follow your heart, you only live once and if children are what brings you joy, than add joy to your life.
Julie  |
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