| Author | Topic: Dealing with less than supportive reactions | | jodyplustwinsandmore | Has anyone else out there experienced a lot of not very supportive responses from friends and family?
I have three children from a previous marriage. Everyone I've spoken to has mentioned that I already have three, so why do I need more? They don't seem to support our interest in having another child at all. Honestly, it's hard on us (probably me in particular).
It's true that I have three children, but they were with my ex-husband. I've been with my current husband for 5 years now, and we'd love to add to our family. We're older and far wiser, financially secure, and able to provide for a child. I just don't understand why people seem to think it's such a bad idea.
I hear a lot of responses like "but you're so far beyond that" or "why would you want to go through all that again". For me, this is my chance to do it all again from the very beginning with the man I love, in the right place, and at the right time in my life.
Anyway, maybe others on the Message Board can understand. Right now, I feel almost isolated and embarassed about the entire thing.
Jody | | Sandra Coleman | Jody,
I so understand where you are coming from. I have really no support except from dh and mother in law. Others say "you are crazy, why would you do that, you're over 40".
I have heard so much I have learn to block it out. That is why I come to this board. Every one is so supportive and wonderful, that I get the confidence to do this and that I am not wrong or selfish.
I have a wonderful home, a supportive DH and our baby will be loved. The benefit is I don't need daycare, so I will see this baby's first steps and get the quality time that I didn't get with my three boys.
Don't let it get you down. Older parents are known to bring out more productive children. (I read that in a magazine.) Good luck.
Sandra | | Patti Connelly,RN | Dear Jody,
We certainly understand your feelings and thoughts about wanting to add to your family with your husband! Most of the patients who we see are walking right in your shoes since they are usually in their second marriages and their husbands do not have children in most cases. Everyone seems to have an opinion in life....whether we want it or not and it is up to us to sift through all of it keeping the granules of truth that make sense to us and ring true to our hearts. Good luck finding the peace within yourself to do what is right for you and your husband:)
Patti Connelly,RN
 | | Melissa In NC | Hey Jody.. I totally understand where you are coming from. I too am not getting support from my family. Only DH, friends and his family support us. We aren't as financially secure but then again most Americans aren't. They are like me, living check to check. I'm not in debt..my bills are paid on time but we can't afford the luxuries in life. I'd rather be broke, happy and with a child, than broke and miserable. I know it hurts..but there's nothing you can do. I have heard some women state that once their baby was born, everyone changes their feelings. Children bring people together.
Just take it one day at a time..and pull support from those who provide it. Try not to focus on the negative.. we are here for you.
Melissa | | Tlm | My husband and I have a different situation. We have always been married to each other, and honestly, it wasn't any easier telling family and friends about the reversal. Most of his family thought we were being selfish bringing another child into this world. I think most of the women who complain are deep down jealous. You'll be surprised after you have the surgery how those same women will want to talk to you in secret, because they would like to have the surgery themselves.
Good luck to you,
Tammy | |
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